A Moment of Zen

kelly shibari forgivenessSometimes, feathers are ruffled for one reason or another. Assumptions are made, conclusions are reached without fact-checking, and bridges are burned.

I think all of you have had a moment or two like this.

For you, I reprint these reminders from Mother Theresa. I have a few things framed and up on my wall, to remind me in moments like this that the world will go on. It helps to center me and know that I will be ok no matter what happens.

I am not infallible. I make tons of mistakes on a regular basis. What I do not do, though, is take myself very seriously any more. I used to be this OCD, Type A perfectionist that had to have things exactly my way when I wanted it and how I wanted it, or else heads rolled. In fact, there is a nice group of people in Hollywood that will refer to me as someone they would never work for again no matter how much they were paid.

I still have my moments of anger and frustration. But I try to not take myself very seriously any more — at the end of the day, who really cares? It’s easier to just walk away and just wish the other person well. Life is short – each cycle anyway. Better not to dwell on the bad and negative and allow yourself to move on so you can invite the positive into your life.

So with that, I hope these words of wisdom will help you if you are ever in a moment of chaos and wish to seek some Zen (I know she mentions God and I’m a Taoist, but the implied meaning is the same):

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Theresa-

One of the easiest things to say is this: “To you with whom I have broken ties, or who broke ties with me, I hope that the world is a better place for you now without the stress and chaos of anger. I wish you nothing but the best, and should you choose to mend the bridge, I’ll be there to work on that with you. If not, then know that there is a place of Zen for everyone. I hope you can find yours as I have found mine.” Isn’t that a positive approach which easily dissipates chaos so everyone can all move on?

What kind of things do you do when you’re met with an inevitable wall of stress and chaos? Are there any tricks you use to bring the Zen back into your life?